Thursday, June 4, 2009

We Are Born.

We're born. We live. We die. But let's examine these 3 universal truths.

We are born. 
   True: I was born. You were born. They were born. 
   Like a lot of people, I was born to the wrong parents. I was born in New York City and I don't like cities. I should have been born in northern New England--northern Massachusetts, Vermont, or Maine. Maine is a lovely place. Weird people. Lots of vanity plates--like "DARKNESS".....but the natural setting is really fine. 
   My parents were polar opposites. I loved my mom.  She died at age 51 from cancer. I went into a tailspin that lasted many years and threatened to shake me to pieces. Pam was the only person who could protect me.
   My dad was another story. 
   Here's a vignette:
  My dad was 81 and had been fighting cancer for several years. The end was near. My 2 brothers, Pete and Ed, and I were at dad's house to witness the end. We had just stepped out to see the hospice nurse off and I decided to go back and check on dad. As I got to the threshold of his room he was reaching out to me, straining, staring directly into my eyes. I watched the light go out in his eyes and stood there feeling nothing...maybe relief. Maybe revenge. Pete and Ed were in the driveway. I stood there making sure dad was dead. 
  Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
  I loved my mother very much and suffered with her as she cared for her crazy mother and my dad. 
   I felt nothing for my father. 
  So, I was born to the wrong a lot of you. Think of the ramifications: wrong parents, wrong siblings, wrong uncles and aunts, wrong friends, wrong neighborhood, wrong religion, food, wallpaper. 
   The trick, I believe, is to find the right substitutes--right parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, friends, neighborhood, religion, food and wallpaper. 
   And that, komrades, will be the subject of my next post: Living.

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